An Emotional Journey

When you or someone you love is diagnosed with cancer, everything you know changes instantly. Suddenly your every day is filled with appointments, medications, and mostly…fear.

For the last two years, my father has been battling lung cancer. I remember the day we received the news. It was devastating. I found myself feeling emotions that I had never experienced. I was scared, sad, and angry… very angry. Why did this have to happen to my dad? He is such a wonderful man. He didn’t deserve this. Before the day was over, my anger faded and I was just really scared and lost. It was such a feeling of despair. Thankfully, I have an incredible family and we all pulled together to support my dad.

So, now we were faced with decisions. How on earth are you supposed to know how to handle these choices? Chemo? Radiation? Surgery? A combination? What is the best choice? The fact of the matter is… no one but the patient can determine what decision is best. And the patient is probably the one who is most confused.

My father chose to elect surgery with the hopes of not having to go through any follow up chemo. The day before his surgery, I developed a chest cold and wasn’t able to see him before he went under. It was so difficult to sit in the waiting room and not be able to hug him and hold his hand. I was so scared. Again, my family and my friends showed tremendous support. My father’s surgery was successful. They removed the tumor and he was doing well. Then came the bad news. His tumor was larger than they had thought. Chemo was inevitable.

After a few weeks of recovery from the surgery, my father began his chemo treatments. He was so sick. It was so hard to watch helplessly as he suffered through it. On Thanksgiving, he ended up in the hospital and we were afraid we would lose him. But my dad is a fighter and he got better and stronger. Chemo ended and the doctors felt he was clear.

The following June, my parents took a vacation. They spent a few weeks back home getting together with old friends and enjoying life. They had a blast and life was good. I was so happy to see them living again.

Three days after they returned from their trip, my father lost sight in his right eye. It was a tumor. The lung cancer had spread. In fact, it was back in his lung as well. This time, the prognosis was not so optimistic.

Now he is taking a chemo pill to try to slow down the cancer. We can no longer hope to beat it. We can only buy time. Having someone tell you that it is only a matter of time is just heartbreaking. That night as my dad sat in his recliner, I climbed up in the chair with him and cuddled him like I was a little girl again.

Since that day, he has been fighting it, but his quality of life is far from good. Some days are better than others, but most days he spends sleeping in his chair.

Cancer is an ugly disease. It affects so many lives everyday. But the most important thing to remember is that no matter what the prognosis is… it is vital to have a good support system. In times like these, strength comes from the love of family and friends.

If you or someone you love is diagnosed with cancer, there are so many wonderful organizations available to offer you support and guidance. The American Cancer Society is a tremendous resource. Contact your local ACS office to learn about events, news, resources, and volunteer opportunities in your area.